Unexpected Beauty

Unexpected Beauty

Uplifts
Blesses
Inspires
Reminds me
of what is good,
what is pure.
Reminds me;
I am,
surrounded by
Divine support.
Reminds me of the Beauty
Within.

Take the judgement challenge...

Years ago, I had the phenomenal opportunity to study with Rosalyn Bruyere and to learn at the feet of a wonderful, wise human being. As with most of my life's teachers; sometimes she and I got along and sometimes we didn't. Each seminar I received from her, we brought out different aspects of one another. Now, I am sure I was just 'one more student' to her in the sea of students she has shared teachings with. However, for me, there is only one of her and she has been the gift that keeps on giving; these ten years later. I am finally beginning to understand why I still hear what she taught us, replaying in my head. What Rosalyn (Rose--not Roz) shared with us were Universal teachings or truths and when you are in the presence of Universal Truths, your body, mind and spirit are nourished by these teachings and they are forever a part of you. Little did I realize then what a Mystery school was, even though it was discussed at length in the classes. The beauty of being part of a Mystery school is that it is never-ending; whether you are actively participating or not.

Through my Reiki studies, I have learned the Japanese term for Mystery teachings; Shinpiden, which means "there is always another mystery" and this really describes what the basis of a Mystery school is. Taken from the dictionary; Mystery--any truth that is unknowable except by divine revelation.

As I reflect upon all the Rosalyn nuggets I find myself repeating to anyone who will listen; I am pleased once again to be reminded of a new one that I hadn't explored lately. In honor of the recent fire which took out a 200 yr old building being refurbished by Nora Roberts and her husband, I am reading my FIRST romance novel. What, you may gasp--is this possible? Is nothing sacred? I respect Ms. Roberts' goal to repair the burned out building and to start once again creating her dream B&B. I know it will be great for the little town and I have decided to contribute to her cause via her books. What I am surprised to find is that as a result I am now able to let go of judgment in one more area of my life. I recall Rosalyn suggesting we try to read all types of books, so that we can understand them or until we understand them. Who knows, I might have to read political books next! Not sure I am ever going to be that evolved....

Love thy neighbor or just send light!

In a session with my last client of the day, I was pleasantly reminded tonight about a choice I made a few years back. I send light to folks that irritate me. Not to change them, just to send light instead of what I had been sending; unpleasant thoughts, judgments, criticisms, etc. I had learned the hard way; when I yelled at high school soccer games at the coaching, the next day, I would have a sore throat. When I used to get sore throats, they were horrible and painful and I was not a pleasant person. I was motivated to avoid these at all costs and to heal whatever predisposed me to sore throats.

Surprisingly, there seemed to be an effect from all that light I sent to the soccer coaches; or at least their coaching didn't upset me as much anymore. This inspired me to send light to more folks. The more light I sent, the more accepting I became of ways different than mine and the more tolerant I felt of others. Gradually, this led to compassion, for myself and for others.

Tonight, I finally put all the puzzle pieces together; I know when I send light, it is the light of the Divine, which is Divine Love. So, I send you God's Love, Divine Light. When you send light, you are filled with light, when you love your neighbor, you are filled with love. Hence, Love your neighbor as yourself. Bible quote for Lent--But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:43) The choice is yours; light-fare or internal war-fare.

Tapping into that lunar eclipse energy...

The Lunar eclipse energy is a special time for anyone who chooses to view it that way. It is a time where hidden things can be revealed, it is a time where hidden things can be healed.

Last night I had the honor to lead a small group through a guided healing session. Each person chose to explore their own internal layers of self and to trust the process as it unfolded. I am so grateful for the modern world with all its wonderful technology, that allows us to create unique healing opportunities in new ways. Who knew we could efficiently acknowledge a weakness within ourselves, breathe through it, call light into and transform it to a completely new state? And who knew we could do this simultaneously with other people, while maintaining our own private process, without getting involved in anyone else's?

I give you the teleconference healing session, called
INVOCATIONS OF GRACE.

I give you an invitation to join us on the next call; March 5, 2008 at 9 pm (EST).

As I have informed other clients in the past; "the only way you will know if remote healing sessions work for you, is to try them."
At a very affordable price, I might add.

OOPS!!! The Universe caught me again!

What I am about to report may not be palatable to everyone, so if you are easily frightened...you may want to skip this submission. Last night I was hurrying to knock off one more thing on my to-do list and I was literally transported to another Universe. At this point, I know I just lost half my audience. For those of you that are more intrigued than disgusted, hold onto your seats. As I was busily creating yet another mass email to announce yet another golden opportunity for growth and transformation; the strangest of strange occurrences kept happening and I kept trying to will it away; so I could get my work done, of course.

Picture this; I am busily typing away at my PC (sorry Macs) and my thoughts are literally being invaded by some other being. How do I know this, you might ask? At this point, I would like to tell you that you wouldn't believe it if I told you, but I acquiesce and I will spill. As I am typing into the keyboard and watching the screen, I begin to see extra words being inserted into my page; words that I have not typed personally. I try to shrug this off and casually delete the aberrant words, only to find that they reappear again at the edge of my cursor. It is simple words that are being inserted into my page; in him, the, in the, with....you get the idea.

I am seriously wrestling with this unexplained phenomenon and absolutely determined that it will not deter me from getting my current mission accomplished. However, the other less manic part of me is beginning to freak out and beginning to resign myself to the presence of an evil spirit in the room. Is this being trying to tell me something? I had heard of automatic writing, where one connects to the spirits and lets them write through them; I just had never experienced it personally. Then I remember from past seminars I've attended, that if there is an entity or disembodied spirit in the room, all you have to do is to ask it to leave; literally tell it to "get out!" Fortunately for me, my home office is in one corner of the house and no one is around while I am battling this unknown.

So I give it the college try and speak with authority to the air in my room, "get out! Leave me alone now!" Then I dutifully go back to typing and try to pretend that everything is taken care of. Wouldn't you know it, I have a very determined spirit in the room, who it appears doesn't follow the rules of the Universe and is currently non-compliant with my heartfelt request. Words keep appearing on my screen, I am deleting them 'en mass' and as I type more, more deviants appear. I haven't felt exasperated in years, but I am inching towards that state.

Clearly, it is going to be almost impossible to complete my email announcement and in my agitated state, I can find no logical explanation for this problem. Sometimes keyboards go screwy if they've been spilled upon and this must be what is happening; even though the likelihood of the spill is pretty remote.

I also know that today is the last day for the planet Mercury to be in retrograde; which it has been in for the past three weeks. When Mercury is retro, it appears to be moving backwards in the heavens as compared to the other planets. The logical explanation for this is based on the varying elliptical orbits of the planets and how they overlap one another in the cosmos. However, there are real effects that we all feel when Mercury is retro; we miss, cancel and rearrange appointments, we lose things, we find things, old friends contact us out the blue, we miscommunicate and electrical things break down--cars, computers, cell phones, etc. If you look back at your past three weeks; you will see numerous confirmations of the affects of mercury retro. Mercury rules communication, electronics, quick trips and the mind, to name a few. Anyway, these crazy, randomly appearing words would be a typical way for Mercury retro to show up. Obviously, something has gone haywire with my PC.

I surrender to the unknown, it has won the battle and I retreat. I save my feeble attempts at a profound email and close out the program. I hear my inner voice saying, just in case it is an entity; "you better be gone when I get back!" Walking out of the room, I see my husband coming into the kitchen and I try to explain to him the oddities I have just endured. Insulting as it is, once again, he knew exactly how to fix the problem. He suggested a simple maneuver, which I immediately employed and then I sat down and laughed hysterically at myself for about 15 minutes.

Beware, beware, beware of all recently installed programs for which you may not have tested out of yet to be qualified to run. You know, that moment when you have made every mistake possible and NOW you KNOW how to run the program. Enter--wait for it--a certain voice recognition software.....which types what ever you speak! Who turned the microphone on? Oh is that what that little icon is for....

What if.....or what could possibly happen? Notes from a recovering skeptic.

• What if all you had to do to feel better about life was to breathe out the stress and to imagine yourself filled with healing light?
  
• What if you couldn't possibly realize it was really that simple, until you actually tried it once?
  
• What if that part of you that doubts everything were set aside for an hour, so that you could experience a new possibility?
  
• What if you tried this new healing process and you were amazed and transformed as a result?
  
• And what if that whole process of healing the layers of stuff you've accumulated in your life could be done in the privacy of your own home, in your own comfortable chair?

We all have our own personal internal skeptic, that part of us that learned a long time ago not to get our hopes up--or you will surely be disappointed. I invite you to embrace your skeptic, acknowledge your skeptic and then let your inner skeptic come out and play. Do your own experiment; your results will be your proof. Join me for an Invocations of Grace session and see for your self.

A skeptic is a person who doubts and questions information, in order to discover what is true. From the ancient Greek schools, the skeptikos is the one who reflects, looks and views. In the truest sense, the skeptic is a scientist; one who needs proof that something is true. I love skeptics, I am your biggest fan. I, too, am one who questions everything and I am one who now knows what truth feels like.

Unfortunately, most of us use a very limited tool to determine if something is true; our intellect. Most of us have forgotten how to use the most important discerning tool we have; our body. Our body responds instantly to every stimulus we are subjected to; we will have a gut instinct, a warm feeling, a tightness, an expansion; to name a few. Our body knows what is right for us before our intellect kicks in and starts analyzing. "Trust your Vibes" by Sonia Choquette is one of my favorite books out on the shelves right now that reminds us to listen to the body.

We spend most of our life analyzing our life experiences and as a result most of these experiences are still waiting to be processed for resolution or completion. Our intellect is ill equipped to completely process our experiences; as this is ignoring the bulk of the information, which is feelings. We end up with a back log of data that our body is forced to wade through daily. The fuller our internal closets get, the more difficult it gets to move around. Our internal flow is compromised by our outdated junk; and this creates stress.

There are ways to relieve stress; exercise, proper foods, meditation and tai chi to name a few. Then there are ways to eliminate stress; by cleaning out the backlog of obsolete data and by breathing out unresolved emotions and outdated beliefs. It is a thing which must be experienced to fully understand its potential.

Simple, uncomplicated healing, which doesn't require re-living the past; just healing it. I invite you to appreciate yourself fully, accepting who you are in the moment and being open to unlimited amounts of joy and love in your life. Everything is possible, we just forgot this truth. I look forward to sharing Invocations of Grace with you on our next call.

Why does Reiki energy feel stronger from one person than from another?

One of my Reiki friends asked me this question recently and I in turn asked my Reiki guides for insight on this question.

The flow of Reiki energy through a practitioner’s body is dependent on many different factors; such as openness, clarity, integrity, grounding, intention, frequency of use and your relationship with your Reiki guides.

• Being open to all possibilities, without limitations, without expectations and being in a neutral place to allow the Reiki to work through you; that is openness. If I don't think Reiki can heal my fractured tail bone, then that belief is going to impact the results I receive. If I think Reiki can heal my bones now and any trauma held in them from the past; then that also will influence what I receive.

• Clarity speaks to how clear we are on all levels; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If I have an old break in my arm, that may actually slow down the flow of energy through that arm. I view the body as being full of hundreds of little tiny garden hoses; each hose has some kinks, some crud inside them and some have boulders smashing them closed. The Reiki flow is similar to turning on the water spigot and allowing the water to flow. As the water rushes into the hoses, the kinks are popped open, the crud is moved through and the boulders are pushed off the hoses. Similarly, the Reiki increases the flow of energy throughout the body and like the water, helps to clear out the flows the more one uses or receives Reiki. This energy, this Light of the Divine, helps to clear out all levels; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

• Integrity is about being in alignment with your truth, knowing what your truth is and experiencing life from within your truth. The old adage comes up once again; “physician heal thyself.” This involves spending some time getting to know who you are. You are buried beneath layers of responses which you created to protect the real you. Many of us function on ‘auto-pilot;’ which is a standard set of responses and reactions to everyone and everything around us. The true self isn’t given a chance to come out and play; we are too busy reacting. As we release old unresolved emotions from the past; the backlog of stuff that continually spilled into the present is released. We then experience freedom in each moment to pause, feel and respond from our integrity. As we develop more integrity within us, the easier the flow of Reiki is through us.
  

• Grounding supports your ability to be a clear channel of Reiki; as you connect your body to the Earth, you allow the flow of the Reiki energy to move throughout your entire body. Imagining the Reiki light coming into your body and moving through it enhances the actual flow of this energy. Practicing various grounding techniques daily helps you stay in your body and helps one notice how energy flows through the body.
  

• Intentions set parameters for the healing and strengthen the results received during the Reiki session. Begin by asking for the highest help and ask to be connected to the Spirit of Reiki, to the Reiki guides and ask for the highest level of healing for the highest good to occur. The more we involve the Divine and our Spirit helpers, the more effective the Reiki session. Releasing any beliefs we may have that we have to do this all on our own is essential to allowing the Divine to work through you.

• How often we use Reiki on ourselves, on others and how often we receive Reiki greatly influences how Reiki flows through us. It stands to reason, that if our energy flows are full of years of life experience and congestion; it will become clearer the more often Reiki energy runs through us. If we only receive and give Reiki once a month, our body will not be used to running Reiki through us. If we Reiki ourselves for five minutes a day, the body develops a very conducive relationship to the Reiki energy. One easy way to do this is to go to sleep giving yourself Reiki and when you wake up, give yourself five minutes of Reiki as you gradually wake up; it’s much easier to get out of bed after that. It is important to trade receiving Reiki on a regular basis; weekly if possible. The benefits of regular receiving will astound you.

• Your relationship with your Reiki guides can be very informative and helpful; almost like graduate school training. Listening to your intuition as you do Reiki and noticing what suggestions come to guide the healing experience may become part of every Reiki session. Your Reiki healing guides can guide you where to place your hands on the body and you may also see images that inform the healing work.

In general, the more one uses the Reiki, the more flow you will develop through your hands and body and the more effective the results in all your sessions.

How does one get started in the Healing Arts?

For me, it began with the desire to end suffering and discomfort; firstly, in myself, secondly, in my family and thirdly, in my friends. Years ago, I was inspired by Dr. Samuel Hahnemann's statement from one of his Homeopathy books;
' the best physicians were the ones who had suffered the most ailments.' I connect this to another old adage; 'physician, heal thyself.' As the physician heals herself; she gains knowledge, experience, compassion, humility and understanding. It's impossible to understand the suffering of others if you have not suffered.

Thankfully, the human experience is full of suffering, until you choose not to suffer, that is. Choosing suffering is like ' to be or not to be, that is the question.' Even in the midst of extreme suffering, we have a choice how to be and there are many examples of this in our present and past world experiences. I recently overheard a friend thanking another friend, who happened to be her audiologist; 'thank you for telling me 10 years ago that I needed to befriend my tinnitus; it was such a helpful idea.' Her tinnitus as a result is much easier to live with. She chose not to suffer.

Each person drawn to the healing arts is usually motivated by a deep desire to heal themselves. From that place, we are then able to show the way for others to do the same. Personal experience and observation of others on a similar journey have confirmed for me that there are certain opportunities we all face on this healing arts journey.

The most common first lesson is about boundaries; how to develop them, how to create them and how to stay within your bounds. Most of us learn what works in this department by first learning what doesn't. I will share some of my own history and my impression that most of us pass through these lessons.

My first high in the healing arts was through homeopathic medicines and witnessing the miraculous effect they had on my baby's teething pain. Soon, I was using homeopathic medicines for every ailment our young family suffered from and usually with great results. I bought books on the subject, took classes, enlisted the help of medical practitioners and then as I knew more; taught classes and led homeopathic study groups. I wanted everyone I knew to use homeopathy and I put much personal time and energy into trying to help my friends with all their families' ailments. I became very attached to the results and too invested in other people's lives and I felt responsible for their well-being.

Huge opportunity for boundary lessons abounded; and I eventually passed the course. Eventually, I realized that in order for healing of any sort to work, the person needing it needs to ask for the help. That is the first step toward healing anything; asking for help. Pushing help onto someone usually backfires...trust me on this one. Using homeopathy is a brilliant opportunity to step into your responsibility for your own health. It is so easy to learn from the books that are out there and there so few risks compared to numerous side effects of modern medicine.

Lesson number two goes a little deeper; when I feel sorry for someone, want to rescue them from their pain and view them as helpless; there are now two victims in the room--me and them (it's true, it does take one to know one.) This is a co-dependent perspective and one that is limiting for both parties. My personal golden rule now that I strive to maintain, is to envision limitless possibilities for others instead of narrow definitions. I choose to empower others, know that they are capable of making good choices and I will be happy to assist them; if they ask. I practice healthy detachment with good intentions.

So the healing journey actually heals the journeyer, go figure. I am grateful for the journey and the continued healing growth. There is always another mystery, it's what keeps life interesting.
A final thought on healing; I am a mentor in the healing arts and I invite you to heal yourself, with Divine help, Divine guidance, Divine intervention and of course, Divine miracles.

Historical Restoration

Re-alignment is my current middle name. I am in the process of historical restoration of my own mansion; my body.

Who knew how damaging it would be to break a tailbone at five years old, a collarbone at six, one wrist at seven and the other wrist at eight? Who knew the pain I would suffer in my forties and now my fifties as a result of all the old injuries? Who knew that the twenty years of bodywork were actually essential to undo the damage and to prevent worse pain?

It is a beautiful thing to watch the body find its way back to wholeness. I am in awe of it every day. I have learned to trust the process and have seen where I fall victim to my own state. When I don’t give up, when I listen to my inner voice suggesting healing treatments, then I am once again reminded how supported I am and to trust.

In my morning walk today these words came out of my mouth and the whole walk became a sacred prayer of thanksgiving.

I give gratitude and I receive Love.
I give gratitude and I receive Love.

Now, I am unraveling the pain, following the trail back through time and releasing what was absorbed and restoring what was lost.

I am restoring my virtue, I am restoring my virtue
I am restoring my purity, I am restoring my purity
I am restoring my alignment, I am restoring my alignment.

I am forgetting how to feel helpless, how to feel powerless,
how to give up and how to give in.

I am remembering how if feels to be whole and the glimpses of this new / old reality are rich and peaceful.

I am restoring my God given right to be a vessel of Light.
I am restoring my God given right to be a vessel of Light.

I am Light.

Four-Way Stop Savvy?

For those of you who may have missed our local paper's recent guest column from yours truly;

Are You Four-Way Stop Savvy?

Its dark out and you are approaching the dreaded, most congested part of your little town. You know the long wait that lies ahead of you. You also know you are completely dependent on that little understood quality that only few of us possess; “four-way stop savvy.”

This is not a quality that many of us are born with; it is a recent mutation in the genetic code that’s only showing up in a “naturally selected” few. It has been noted to show up in human clusters in random areas of the planet and our little hamlet seems to be one of these blessed locations. If you are one of the many who have not yet mutated this genetic characteristic into your code, you probably find yourself continuously nonplussed as you approach the harrowing four-way stop.

It’s amazing to think that road rage could even occur in our little burg; however, this is unfortunately commonplace at least twice a day in one section of our mini-opolous. Here at the four corners, much is at stake and much will be decided in a short amount of time. The bad news is, is that it is all out of your control. The good news is, is that it is all out of your control. It is a prime opportunity to practice all those self-help techniques; “I am at peace in the now and I have all the time I need.” Ahh, feel the tension melting out of your body as you exhale deeply. Or, if you are still on page 2 of the self-help manual, you might be unable to appreciate the beauty all around you as you sit in a line of twenty cars waiting for someone to master the four way stop.

Can’t you find that well of empathy that lies within you that has compassion for each and every driver as they navigate their way through the upcoming treachery? The quandary we each must address; “am I a failure or a success?” “Did I do it right or wrong?” “Did I make a fool of myself or how many people did I ____ off this time?” And my personal favorite, “how come everyone else seems to know when to go?” These are just some of the split-second angst we endure each time we enter the “crossroads of comradery.”

That’s right, every time you enter this “crossroads of comradery,” it is a good time to make new friends. Show some human interest in your fellow man and make…wait for it; eye contact. Eye contact is the great communicator; it says, “I know you exist and are you going to let me go first?” All in one quick connection, the pecking order is established. Which is it going to be? I can be nicer than you or I don’t have time for this and I am just going to go. This works great in the day time and when there are no clear answers for who really is on your right.

So where does the savvy gene come in, one might ask? There are moments at the four-way stop that seem almost choreographed and if we piped music into the intersection…. It doesn’t happen that often, but occasionally four people with this savvy gene will show up at the four-way stop at the exact same moment. What you are about to witness is the highest level of savvy and is not to be attempted by the neophyte. Four right turns at the same time? Is this really possible? It’s a wondrous event that only lasts a second. On a more regular basis, you might find two naturally selected experts arriving across from one another. Amazingly, they are able to go straight through the intersection at the same time or even take left turns simultaneously, regardless of who was there first. The savvy individual is able to appraise the scene quickly and shorten the wait time for all the less savvy behind them. Hooray for natural selection.

Here’s a general rule of thumb for the four-way; if each driver went through one at a time, there were no genetically enhanced folks in that batch and don’t feel like a failure. I’ve been told that those without the savvy gene can actually learn how it’s done through observation and practice, practice, practice.

family traditions and creating memories

Just returned from a four day, action-packed, fun-filled family gathering and I am living off the buzz one gets from being surrounded by people you love and by people who love you. Choosing to participate reaps great rewards. I considered not going on the family field trip and I am really grateful I chose to participate.

How great is that, to be cheered on by your friends for throwing a heavy ball down a wooden lane? For the nine of us, as amateur bowlers, there was no greater joy than hitting a few pins, let alone actually getting a spare or a strike. We each were given the opportunity to feel competent, humble, inept and the greatest opportunity was to not take ourselves too seriously. Who really cares in the big picture, if we keep throwing gutter balls. Okay, maybe I was the only one who bowled double zeros on one turn. Life will go on.

I felt like I was in a stand up comedy workshop weekend, with one liners being thrown around for all to enjoy. We watched each other fail miserably and were still able to find the humor in that. I think everyone should go bowling once a year for therapy.

Half of us agreed we should have only bowled one game, it was the second game that revealed our first game skills were just a fluke. The other half of us actually improved in the second game and secretly wanted to bowl all night. Pretty sure the bowling angels made sure we each got one strike to let us each leave with some of our self esteem intact.

Marriage Blessing and the gift of Energy from the Universe

Creator, Infinite Spirit,

We gather together this day to celebrate and to honor this marriage.

We acknowledge this marriage to be based on

love, faith, hope and trust.

Creator, Infinite Spirit,

We ask for a Blessing.

We ask that the Angels and Archangels join together in

Blessing this marriage.

We are grateful for the continuous Grace which surrounds this couple and their life together.

We are grateful for Divine Love and Light surrounding them and guiding them through both, life’s challenges and through life’s celebrations.

Creator, hear our prayer for a Divine Blessing on

this couple.

Help them to know Creator that they are never alone and are continually supported by your Divine Love and Guidance.

Bless this marriage, Creator and fill their hearts with love and compassion for one another.

Guide them through their future, Creator,

help them heal their past together and

help them to be present to one another with each new day.

We are grateful for these blessings.

Nameste’ AMEN

A couple of years ago, my partner and I celebrated 25 years of marriage. This prayer came to me on my morning walk and I jotted it down as I walked. After my walk, I promptly entered the prayer into the computer and once I had done that, my intuition guided me to beam it via email to all our friends and family. I asked each person to read this prayer with us in mind, to help us bless our marriage. We received such a gift of energy from the Universe as a result of this prayer being read with us in mind. The healing energy literally gave our relationship a boost and helped to move it into it's next step of evolution.

I offer this prayer to anyone who needs it or chooses to use it. I also offer it to a dear couple who was recently wed; whose hearts are filled with deepest love for one another and who celebrated their day, deep inside the earth's caves--now that's a grounded marriage.

Gratitude changes your attitude...and how to tap into that memory energy

Gratitude is contagious and I am grateful for that. Four years ago I gifted myself the opportunity to experience Sedona, Arizona for nine days. Today, I am reliving some of the memories from that time and it is literally raising me up out of the darkness. There is darkness and there is stillness and the two are not the same. I prefer stillness which brings me light, however, at the other side of the darkness there is also light. In the missing of the light, during the darkness, it almost makes the regaining of the light that much sweeter. Regardless, light is streaming in as I listen to Deva Premal sing the Gayatri Mantra.

I traveled to Sedona with a dear friend Hali and we set the intentions early in the planning of the trip to receive all that Sedona had to offer on all levels. As a result, every aspect of the journey was magical, as we reveled in being supported fully by the Universe. There are times in your life when all your stars line up and this creates amazing opportunities---and as we go through them we may not realize that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, it will never come round again. So I look back today in gratitude and I tap into that flow of memory energy and use it to heal my soul's experience in the physical this day.

We arrived at the rental car counter eager to begin our drive from Phoenix to Sedona. The clerk is explaining to me that I can arrange for my 'significant other' to drive the car for free, but I would have to pay for anyone else to drive the car. Glancing at Hali, I quickly indicated that she was indeed my SO, especially if the SO drove the rental for free. This gave us plenty to kid about for the next nine days. It's a big commitment having an SO don't you know.

Just in case you don't know what it means to have all your stars lined up; I refer to my favorite Goethe quote; Until one is committed......All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. We lined up the perfect place to stay, in a condo in a golf community, very near the Bell Rock Vortex; owned by my 80 year old Tai Chi student's sister.

The first morning in Sedona, we stopped for breakfast at a little diner and while reading the local newspaper we discover that Deva Premal is having a concert that night at the local high school auditorium. We immediately call the contact number and we are informed that it is already sold out, but that we should come to the door anyway, it's likely that there will be a few tickets not used. Of course, when we got there later that evening, they had two tickets left and we were privileged to experience Deva Premal and Miten singing; and we also enjoyed the phenomenal experience of the whole audience joining in singing the chants with them.

Holographic Repatterning (now named Resonance Repatterning) was having it's annual conference in Sedona and that is what we had mainly come to participate in. The fact that Bruce Lipton would be speaking there was icing on the cake and so was the night we ate dinner with him. The fact that John Barnes' "Therapy on the Rocks" myofascial release healing center was in Sedona was icing on the icing, as would be the three sessions I received from them while I was there. Getting to meet the birth card ladies; Susan Hathaway and Debbie Crick was brilliant as were the card readings we received from them.

And then there is Sedona, with all the beauty, the red rocks, the wonderful energy present at the Vortexes--it is a thing we learn; you will get back ten-fold that which you send into an experience. We intended to tap into the highest level of healing at each of the vortexes and that is what we received....drumming at sunset on the Bell Rock, drumming at sunrise at the airport vortex, listening to the spirit guides laughing at the tourists who were 'looking for the vortex' at the Boyton Canyon Vortex--ahh, the coyote trickster energy is strong there.

Every meal we ate in Sedona was a delight, from the late night Tai food, to the delicious Indian food and even the Mexican food. The road trip to the Grand Canyon was effortless thanks to the Perelandra flower essences easing the impact from the altitude changes and everyone needs to try viewing the canyon with earplugs--tune out the world and make it your own--I highly recommend it. All in all, I have this memory energy inside me and it is there to heal me whenever I need it. Gratitude changes the attitude. Thank God.

the gift of the recent grief...or where's the gift?

We only knew the kitten for two months and yet we loved her whole-heartedly. She was so cute, lovable and loving to our young children. Her death came as a complete surprise and my reaction to this loss was an even greater shock to me. That day, I was filled with such a deep well of grief that I spent the whole entire day sobbing. As one hour passed to the next, I began to realize I was grieving way more than just this little kitten. What was going on inside me that I could not stop the grieving? Something inside me had been cracked open and I was being given the opportunity to feel griefs that spanned 25 years or more. Three deaths defined my past and the same three deaths shaped my future.

Losing three baby siblings, each one dying at the age of three left mysteries for each member of our family to unravel for decades to come. My three remaining siblings and my parents each grieved differently, separately and incompletely. Defined by the age we each were when each baby sibling died, our vulnerabilities were also defined. I don't know if it was worse for me to lose siblings at age 6, 10 and 13 or if it was more difficult for my younger sister who would have been 4, 8 and 11, or my older sister who was 9, 13, and 16 or my older brother who was 8, 12 and 15. With each age comes particular sensitivities and the age of 9 has been documented an an exceptionally challenging age to lose a loved one. Regardless, pain is pain, and pain will wait to be healed for as long as it takes. Our family must have come here to learn about grief. It is a thing that shapes how you see the world and how you fit in it.

My griefs have been great teachers to me and the lessons are still ongoing. As I share lessons learned, I learn even more. Stella the kitten was a gift to our family, especially to me. The gift she brought was a huge heart opening followed by a deep grief which cracked open all my other griefs. The vault which contained my griefs for so many years had been sprung open, like a thief in the night, she removed the barriers to my own self healing. Well-hidden emotions were exposed for reflection and review. I was given the option to look at my pain and I took it. I did not know when the opportunity might present itself again and I was tired of holding on to all that was unresolved.

There are rare times in life where we are given a second chance to get it right. Once I started to look more closely at my griefs, the second chances continued until I found the key to my own self healing. I had read books on grief by Levine, Kubler-Ross and finally the lesser-know Rosen. Rosen was the one who dealt specifically with sibling loss. I had explored every imaginable form of alternative healing, always looking for ways to finally heal my grief. Amazingly, the answer did lie within and I found my own answers to releasing this pain.

While looking at my grief that day, I wrote in my journal about the pain of the losses. I began to write, "I hate you, I hate you." A chord of truth was struck and it reverberated throughout my whole body, the visceral response in my body was palpable, every cell in my body woke up. For the first time, I was hearing truth. A huge wave of relief moved through my whole body as I felt heard for the first time. My secret was out; I hated the babies for dying. I hated them for leaving me behind and I hated them for taking away my one source of unconditional love.

Once I admitted to the hatred, anger easily rose up to be acknowledged next. I was angry at the babies for dying. Soon, I was feeling guilty for hating them and for being angry at them. As each emotion was accepted and admitted to, I began breathing them out, one by one. Again, the sense of relief was palpable, my whole body relaxed more and more. The gift of the death of a kitten has been a gift that has kept on giving.

get a new puppy...

What helps us get over loss, get over grief? Most often suggested when one experiences the loss of a dog, is to get a new puppy. Loss is known to each of us and so is the inability to move through it easily. We are all familiar with how it feels to lose someone near to us; whether it is a pet or a dear friend or a dear relative. We long for a deep breath, as it pains us to breathe at all and the heaviness upon our chest seems unrelenting.

We literally collapse into our grief, our chest cavity contracts as if to protect the heart from further hurt. Emotional collapse is a closing down, a limiting of the aperture which feeds our heart, our lungs. When our heart energy is limited, we feel less and sometimes this is easier to live with. Over time, living with less heart energy takes a toll on the whole body, mind and spirit. As a result, systems can begin to slow down and don't function as efficiently. Mostly, we don't notice what we are missing, until the suffering reaches a level where we experience discomfort or symptoms. Then the body, mind and spirit gets our attention and encourages us to get relief.

Our bodies can carry lots of grief, storing it collectively throughout the body. At some point though, our body may reach its limit and the straw breaks the camel's back. This is usually when you find your self inconsolable over the loss of a kitten you've only had for two months. You can't help but notice that you are a basket-case over a relatively minor thing. You realize that the amount of grief you are feeling seems way out of proportion for the experience itself. This could be your first clue that the dam has burst and that it's time to clean it up before it floods into your whole life.

So why does the new puppy do the trick? What key does the puppy seem to have? None other than the key to your heart. The new puppy opens your heart, just like a new baby or a new love. The new love expands the chest and allows more energy flow to the heart again. You are healed just by being in the presence of the new love. Similarily, you could begin a new project or begin something you can pour your heart into. Even the loss of a project can be replaced by beginning a new project. Placing all your dreams, visions and gratitude into the new project helps to heal the loss of old dreams and visions. Out with the old, in with the new....as in the breath, breathe out the old air, breathe in the fresh air and be healed in every breath.

Are you responsible or committed?

For the past couple of weeks this question has been posed by numerous clients. Are you responsible or committed? In my Reiki Repatterning work I tend to see themes which last for a period of time, where literally every person that comes in to see me has the same issue. This fact alone used to wig me out, ie. make me question myself and my reality and my abilities... now that I have noticed patterns happening in my mentoring work for the past 15 years, I am comfortable with this part of my reality.

One aspect of my life I am grateful for is being able to trade my Reiki services for massages, myofascial release sessions, breathwork, etc. A side benefit of all the bodywork trades I have done over the past 15 years, is hearing about similar shared experiences with bodyworkers, who will also see everyone coming in with the same shoulder issue for weeks at a time.

You might be curious how there can be actual themes for things that need healing in our lives. Having pondered this for years, I'll share my theory. These themes are the result of the changing influences we are under--literally under, as the influences of which I am speaking are the planetary influences.

Astrology is real, the frequencies coming in from the planets are real and they do come in different "flavors." Before you stop reading--hear me out.
There is one planet no one can ignore it's frequencies. The sun's influence is quite strong and quite easily felt. The moon has effects which also can be documented. Why then, do we draw the line for the rest of the planets; who clearly also have frequencies which occur on more subtle levels?

I don't pretend to understand everything about astrology, I enjoy my amateur status and open curiosity. The good news is that I can see patterns in my Reiki practice without knowing which planet caused what. My clients can heal themselves without this information also. Once I figured out these patterns are influenced by the movements of the heavens, I moved on to the real question; what's the most efficient way to create a healing opportunity for all involved?

Back to the 'flavor of the month', as I call it. Responsibility or Commitment, that is the question. Many of us are stuck in our lives because we do not want to take responsibility for our actions or even take responsible actions at all. In fact, anything that smacks of responsibility leaves a bad taste in our mouths. Why has being responsible become such a negative?

Look no further than your own childhood. Mom is yelling throughout the house, "who is responsible for this mess?" (If I had a nickel...) In my childhood with three siblings, it was a miraculous event when one of us claimed responsibility for "the mess." More frequently we relied on the "not me" theory of explanation, which naturally implied that there really are aliens and that they are very messy. Avoidance was mastered early in my house of pain, because that would always be the result of 'taking responsibility for your actions.' Not to blame mom at all, she was doing her job as best she could. I may even have to admit to similar experiences in my own children's lives--you know, before I healed all my stuff--right. (still in process, process, process)

Fear of responsibility is born of similar circumstances to these and by the time we are adults, we may be quite skewed in this area. The good news is that this too can be healed. Releasing old fears, old hatreds, old angers and old guilts paves the way for new choices and new beginnings. Re-committing to yourself is the first step, I now commit to my true self and allow that aspect to shine through me. Gradually, as our comfort with commitment increases, we find it easier to commit to things around us. Eventually, the word responsibility may lose it's bad connotation--it is a great word. In Jamie Sam's Sacred Path cards, she has a great description of responsibility--it is our ability to respond.
I think we all would like that in our lives.

Stepped into someone else's dream today....

What amazes me most about the following experience is not how negative someone can get over nothing, but that I was able to stay present enough to observe the scene before me without getting pulled into it or without having my day ruined by someone else's limited perceptions.

In five short minutes, the hardware store employee used more subtle yet negative words in my presence than I thought possible to compact into such a small chunk of time. Instead of being blessed with the “you can do it” attitude of the previous owners, I was “subtly slimed” with a shower of unconscious pollution.

While none of the negativity was directed at me, per se, I was on the receiving end energetically, if I chose to be. It is important to note that this exchange, this shared moment occured in an unconscious way, it was an old tape that I got to listen to, one that has probably been playing in this particular man’s psyche for about 65 years. I was given a window into his world and his perceptions. When he was done bashing the new computer system, he went on to bash himself and his abilities.

At one point, I considered defusing the situation with some humor or positive comments, but I was literally slowed down or so slayed by his litany that I went along for the ride down the stream. Is life but a dream? Or is this someone else’s nightmare?

We all desire the same things; to be useful, to be effective. We prefer to have life flow easily and effortlessly and are disconcerted at best when the bumps present. What we don’t realize is that we attracted the bumps to us and what we don’t believe is that we can change the ride in mid-step.

This person reminded me how we can unconsciously surround ourselves with negativity and think nothing of it. If it is so familiar to us to view everything from a critical position, we don't realize we have a choice to draw the positive to us, to literally create positive, joy-filled moments in every moment.

Every pattern we are carrying in this life can be changed. Let me put it another way; every pattern we are carrying in this life can be changed. And finally, to re-iterate, every single pattern we are living in this life can be traded in for a new, improved, updated version. Computers are not the only ones who can upgrade, update, download new information, reformat the system, reboot the system, improve the mainframe, create new versions,…you get the idea.

My old friends are still here....

Time was spent happily with the perennial beds this weekend; weeding interspersed itself amoung the other things on the 'to-do' list. It was five-minute bursts of weed-pulling out in the beautiful spring weather, getting plenty of dirt under my finger nails and then remembering what else needed to get done, cleaning the nails again and knocking off another item on the 'to-do' list.

My gardens are full of all my old friends; a living scrapbook of the lives with which I have shared. I was pleasantly reminded of all the folks who have shared plants with me; and although many of these folks are no longer part of my life, their plants still are.

Now, as I gaze upon nature in all her glory, I have the option of what part of past relationships to remember in the midst of all this beauty. Choosing to treasure the fond memories as I look at the plants comes easily this year and I don't dwell on the reasons we have chosen to part ways.

I am grateful for these people and for the role they played in my life in the past. I am grateful for the support they once offered me and for all the shared experiences.

I am also grateful that I no longer long for their company, as this indicates to me that I have moved on in my life and that I am at peace with life's many changes. Finally, I am grateful to know that it is really "ok" for people to change, to grow, to follow their heart and to need different people around them who reflect these changes back to them.

Sharing a plant with someone is a sacred act; you are sharing a living organism with someone whom you trust to take good care of your "baby." When I look at a plant, I am immediately linked to the person who gave me the plant. I am reminded of their generosity and that there is generosity in the world. I am reminded of this person's special qualities and value the chance I had to be in the presence of those qualities for a time.

Of all the gifts I have been given, plant-givers hold a special place in my heart. It's as if I have a permanent opening for them, an opening to connect back to me if they choose to re-connect on a heart level.

Are you smiling on the inside?

I have this internal knowing that is very clear the moment I open my eyes in the morning and realize a new day has begun. In an instant, I know if my energy is high or low, humming or depleted. Today, I woke up somewhere in the middle; not exactly humming and not exactly low. I am always especially grateful for the humming days, as I feel like I must be "doing everything right" to be keeping my energy balanced and "humming." It occurs to me, where my newest learning is, is to be grateful that I have this instant energy gauge in my body at all. I also see this as an opportunity to release yet another layer of the continuum, "there is a wrong and a right" vs. there is no wrong and no right---only opportunities to love myself no matter what. Once again, it IS all about LOVE. So I breathe out, literally breathe out this statement; "there is something wrong with me" and I release it as far back as it connects to me.....even if it connects to great, great aunt Martha, who I never met. I inhale self-love from the Universe, from the Divine and I am ready to begin another grace-filled day.
This photo was taken about 30 years ago by Michael Wisniewski, using an SEM(scanning electron microscope) and these are the embryonic(newborn) leaves of a Sweetgum tree (Hamamelidaceae-- Liquidambar styraciflua). These guys are hiding out there in nature right now, under the bud scales at the tips of branches on the sweetgum trees. Once these leaves 'grow up', they look like a five pointed star.

knock, knock, who's there?

We are all searching for answers, searching for soulmates, searching for happiness...How will we ever know which path to take, which door to open? Step one, I call off the search . Then I start knocking. The initial door to knock on is your own; see if you are home first. Have you taken the time to get to know yourself? Have you made an appointment with 'me, myself and I' lately? Sometimes, I have five minutes for my "me" appointment and other times I have tons of time, like, 15 minutes. I sit in the silence, breathe, breathe some more, tune into how I feel; ...how I feel in my body,... how I feel in my life and how I feel in my heart. In the silence, I knock on my soul's door and I ask for support and I ask for love and I ask for help. In the silence, I asked to be filled with the light of the Divine so that I may again remember how to create another blessed day of joy and gratitude. This brings me back to neutral, I am opinion-free, ready to look at the world with fresh eyes and an open heart.