Are you responsible or committed?

For the past couple of weeks this question has been posed by numerous clients. Are you responsible or committed? In my Reiki Repatterning work I tend to see themes which last for a period of time, where literally every person that comes in to see me has the same issue. This fact alone used to wig me out, ie. make me question myself and my reality and my abilities... now that I have noticed patterns happening in my mentoring work for the past 15 years, I am comfortable with this part of my reality.

One aspect of my life I am grateful for is being able to trade my Reiki services for massages, myofascial release sessions, breathwork, etc. A side benefit of all the bodywork trades I have done over the past 15 years, is hearing about similar shared experiences with bodyworkers, who will also see everyone coming in with the same shoulder issue for weeks at a time.

You might be curious how there can be actual themes for things that need healing in our lives. Having pondered this for years, I'll share my theory. These themes are the result of the changing influences we are under--literally under, as the influences of which I am speaking are the planetary influences.

Astrology is real, the frequencies coming in from the planets are real and they do come in different "flavors." Before you stop reading--hear me out.
There is one planet no one can ignore it's frequencies. The sun's influence is quite strong and quite easily felt. The moon has effects which also can be documented. Why then, do we draw the line for the rest of the planets; who clearly also have frequencies which occur on more subtle levels?

I don't pretend to understand everything about astrology, I enjoy my amateur status and open curiosity. The good news is that I can see patterns in my Reiki practice without knowing which planet caused what. My clients can heal themselves without this information also. Once I figured out these patterns are influenced by the movements of the heavens, I moved on to the real question; what's the most efficient way to create a healing opportunity for all involved?

Back to the 'flavor of the month', as I call it. Responsibility or Commitment, that is the question. Many of us are stuck in our lives because we do not want to take responsibility for our actions or even take responsible actions at all. In fact, anything that smacks of responsibility leaves a bad taste in our mouths. Why has being responsible become such a negative?

Look no further than your own childhood. Mom is yelling throughout the house, "who is responsible for this mess?" (If I had a nickel...) In my childhood with three siblings, it was a miraculous event when one of us claimed responsibility for "the mess." More frequently we relied on the "not me" theory of explanation, which naturally implied that there really are aliens and that they are very messy. Avoidance was mastered early in my house of pain, because that would always be the result of 'taking responsibility for your actions.' Not to blame mom at all, she was doing her job as best she could. I may even have to admit to similar experiences in my own children's lives--you know, before I healed all my stuff--right. (still in process, process, process)

Fear of responsibility is born of similar circumstances to these and by the time we are adults, we may be quite skewed in this area. The good news is that this too can be healed. Releasing old fears, old hatreds, old angers and old guilts paves the way for new choices and new beginnings. Re-committing to yourself is the first step, I now commit to my true self and allow that aspect to shine through me. Gradually, as our comfort with commitment increases, we find it easier to commit to things around us. Eventually, the word responsibility may lose it's bad connotation--it is a great word. In Jamie Sam's Sacred Path cards, she has a great description of responsibility--it is our ability to respond.
I think we all would like that in our lives.

Stepped into someone else's dream today....

What amazes me most about the following experience is not how negative someone can get over nothing, but that I was able to stay present enough to observe the scene before me without getting pulled into it or without having my day ruined by someone else's limited perceptions.

In five short minutes, the hardware store employee used more subtle yet negative words in my presence than I thought possible to compact into such a small chunk of time. Instead of being blessed with the “you can do it” attitude of the previous owners, I was “subtly slimed” with a shower of unconscious pollution.

While none of the negativity was directed at me, per se, I was on the receiving end energetically, if I chose to be. It is important to note that this exchange, this shared moment occured in an unconscious way, it was an old tape that I got to listen to, one that has probably been playing in this particular man’s psyche for about 65 years. I was given a window into his world and his perceptions. When he was done bashing the new computer system, he went on to bash himself and his abilities.

At one point, I considered defusing the situation with some humor or positive comments, but I was literally slowed down or so slayed by his litany that I went along for the ride down the stream. Is life but a dream? Or is this someone else’s nightmare?

We all desire the same things; to be useful, to be effective. We prefer to have life flow easily and effortlessly and are disconcerted at best when the bumps present. What we don’t realize is that we attracted the bumps to us and what we don’t believe is that we can change the ride in mid-step.

This person reminded me how we can unconsciously surround ourselves with negativity and think nothing of it. If it is so familiar to us to view everything from a critical position, we don't realize we have a choice to draw the positive to us, to literally create positive, joy-filled moments in every moment.

Every pattern we are carrying in this life can be changed. Let me put it another way; every pattern we are carrying in this life can be changed. And finally, to re-iterate, every single pattern we are living in this life can be traded in for a new, improved, updated version. Computers are not the only ones who can upgrade, update, download new information, reformat the system, reboot the system, improve the mainframe, create new versions,…you get the idea.

My old friends are still here....

Time was spent happily with the perennial beds this weekend; weeding interspersed itself amoung the other things on the 'to-do' list. It was five-minute bursts of weed-pulling out in the beautiful spring weather, getting plenty of dirt under my finger nails and then remembering what else needed to get done, cleaning the nails again and knocking off another item on the 'to-do' list.

My gardens are full of all my old friends; a living scrapbook of the lives with which I have shared. I was pleasantly reminded of all the folks who have shared plants with me; and although many of these folks are no longer part of my life, their plants still are.

Now, as I gaze upon nature in all her glory, I have the option of what part of past relationships to remember in the midst of all this beauty. Choosing to treasure the fond memories as I look at the plants comes easily this year and I don't dwell on the reasons we have chosen to part ways.

I am grateful for these people and for the role they played in my life in the past. I am grateful for the support they once offered me and for all the shared experiences.

I am also grateful that I no longer long for their company, as this indicates to me that I have moved on in my life and that I am at peace with life's many changes. Finally, I am grateful to know that it is really "ok" for people to change, to grow, to follow their heart and to need different people around them who reflect these changes back to them.

Sharing a plant with someone is a sacred act; you are sharing a living organism with someone whom you trust to take good care of your "baby." When I look at a plant, I am immediately linked to the person who gave me the plant. I am reminded of their generosity and that there is generosity in the world. I am reminded of this person's special qualities and value the chance I had to be in the presence of those qualities for a time.

Of all the gifts I have been given, plant-givers hold a special place in my heart. It's as if I have a permanent opening for them, an opening to connect back to me if they choose to re-connect on a heart level.